The absolute best words to come out of airport security officials are related to “monkey helper” guidelines posted at the bottom of this Transportation Security Administration page:
“TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.”
Dieter would be offended. “Vould you like to touch my monkey? Touch him! Love him! Liebe meine abst-monkey.”
Thanks to jwz for the find.
Incidentally, why is it that the only items under the “makeup and personal items” category on this page that are disallowed from checked luggage are “lip gels such as Carmex or Blistex”? Every other cosmetic item is allowed on checked luggage besides Blistex! What is so special about lip ointment??
So it’s OK to check knives and not Blistex? Say what????