Funny resume/interview stories that Josh found on TotalFark a while back:
This guy’s a team player:
I was going to post snippits from resumes I’ve recieved, but I decided against it. The best I’ve ever gotten:
Burger King
* Ringing register
* Flipping burgers
* Doing what my manager told me to do
And I’m not even kidding.
Too honest:
On a side note, I saw a resume the other day for a guy who minored in “Alcohol and Substance Abuse”. Didn’t we all…
Some people, like Josh, can get away with cursing during the interview. But not this guy:
We were interviewing college kids for paid internships at my old job (computers/engineering). One guy kept using the F-word DURING THE INTERVIEW. Maybe he used it during everyday conversation, don’t really care, but he couldn’t seem to stop for even the 30 minutes we talked to him.
Unintended wording:
We got one here for a secretary position where the applicant proudly proclaimed that she “exceeded every deadline given”
She can sling it, literally AND figuratively:
We got one from a woman who had been out of the workforce for five years while raising her kid. These words should never, ever be placed in a resume: “If I can clean poop, I can work for you!” We interviewed her anyway, and she wasn’t very bright.
Career-limiting emanations:
Once, while interviewing a candidate an unpleasant smell crept into my office. She asked me, “Is that my feet?” It was. Funny thing is that she looked great on paper.
