Monthly Archives: March 2006

Kathryn was browsing magazines at Barnes and Noble tonight. As she reached to shelve a magazine she said “pardon me” to an old man that was also browsing magazines. The old man said to her, “Do you ever wonder if there are any groups that have NO magazines?” Kathryn said, “You mean, like special interest groups?” The old man replied, “Yeah; a group like, for example, The Suicide Club. I mean, there’d be nobody left to get the magazines anyway!” Then, he walked away.

The toddler adventures continue. Iris was enjoying a fine slice of deli ham, and her nose started to run, as it had been pretty much all day. Sitting in another room, I hear Kathryn in the kitchen saying “Iris, wipe your nose. Iris, wipe your nose!” A few moments pass, and then Kathryn yells:

“NO, NOT WITH HAM!!”

These are things you never expect to say. Ever. But I’m willing to bet that a million other parents have repeated the same words at one time or another.

I’d be more compelled to comply with U.S. signage if they were this pleasant to read! Imagine: haiku speed limit signs. Road safety unfurls like the beautiful lotus petals.

Funny resume/interview stories that Josh found on TotalFark a while back:

This guy’s a team player:

I was going to post snippits from resumes I’ve recieved, but I decided against it. The best I’ve ever gotten:
Burger King
* Ringing register
* Flipping burgers
* Doing what my manager told me to do
And I’m not even kidding.

Too honest:

On a side note, I saw a resume the other day for a guy who minored in “Alcohol and Substance Abuse”. Didn’t we all…

Some people, like Josh, can get away with cursing during the interview. But not this guy:

We were interviewing college kids for paid internships at my old job (computers/engineering). One guy kept using the F-word DURING THE INTERVIEW. Maybe he used it during everyday conversation, don’t really care, but he couldn’t seem to stop for even the 30 minutes we talked to him.

Unintended wording:

We got one here for a secretary position where the applicant proudly proclaimed that she “exceeded every deadline given”

She can sling it, literally AND figuratively:

We got one from a woman who had been out of the workforce for five years while raising her kid. These words should never, ever be placed in a resume: “If I can clean poop, I can work for you!” We interviewed her anyway, and she wasn’t very bright.

Career-limiting emanations:

Once, while interviewing a candidate an unpleasant smell crept into my office. She asked me, “Is that my feet?” It was. Funny thing is that she looked great on paper.