Category Archives: funny

Is Christmas driving you crazy?

Hilarious email from Christina:

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CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

* 1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are

* 3. Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas

* 4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

* 5. Manic – Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…..

* 6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

* 8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy – can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

Don’t be so literal on Christmas

Today we received a holiday ham sent to us through Heavenly Ham by family members in Texas. The delivery guy handed me a small card with our family members’ greeting hand-written on it by somebody at HeavenlyHam.com. When I saw the following, I immediately recognized that the card was transcribed from a web-based form:

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Yes, it says “Chris & Critters”.

An explanation for those of you that don’t speak HTML:

In HTML, if you want to write “Bob & Nancy”, you can’t just write the “&” directly, because it has a special meaning to HTML: it begins a character entity reference. In your HTML source, you have to write it as: “Bob & Nancy”. The browser will show this as “Bob & Nancy“. Well, someone at HeavenlyHam.com had the tedious task of hand-writing all the Web-form-submitted holiday greetings to include in the shipments of delicious goodies. This unlucky person didn’t translate the “&” back to “&“. Which amused me immensely, because I: 1) am a web developer, and 2) am easily amused.

Payment function

Verizon’s complex billing schemes for phone services are hard for us to understand. Why not return the favor?


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(via the wonderfully geeky xkcd web comic)

Some subjects go well together

I like the fact that Amazon.com, in their product recommendations, offered me books on these two subjects right next to each other:

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Yes, computers and anger are a natural fit. Amazon.com knows this. The technology wins every time, and we are left to fume at its dominance over us, as this classic clip perfectly captures:

(link to video)

Doesn’t everyone need a deal like this?

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Go buy it, and re-sell it at the list price!!

Chat room robot haiku post of the day

Here’s an amusing randomly-generated haiku made by our chat bot today on the IRC channel at work:

who let the dogs out?
when the revolution comes
camels cannot dance

Crimes against nature

Poking around in our application at the Kentucky public defenders office, I came across a test case with the following misdemeanor charge:

unlawful-slugs.jpg

It cracked me up. My dormant brain took a while to remember that “slugs” refers to counterfeit coins rather than our little slimy salt-phobic friends. But maybe in Kentucky it truly is a misdemeanor to live out the childhood experience of torturing a slug with salt. Things are different in Kentucky.

Joke of the day, part deux

Today’s apparently Cheesy Joke Day. So here’s one submitted by Chris:

Question: What did the Dalai Lama say to the hot dog vendor?
Answer: Make me one with everything.

Joke of the day

Been thin on posts lately – all I have for now is a joke I heard at work recently:

A guy walks into a butcher shop, and while he’s waiting for his order the butcher says, “Excuse me, Sir; Please don’t sit on the bacon slicer… We’ve been getting a little behind in our orders!”

Wifi at the Rat’s Mouth

Dad and I are here in Boca Raton, after an 11 hour drive, camped out at an almost shoddy Quality Inn, visiting family. Things are falling apart at the hotel. Lights are out, cables are loose, switchplate covers popping off at the slightest touch. The smiling Haitian woman at the front desk cheerfully hands my Dad some replacement light bulbs with a heavily accented “here you go”, and I sniff around for wireless networks around the hotel:

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The last one in the list catches my eye. I look over at Dad, as if to answer the question.